Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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