oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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