watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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