I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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