I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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