He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
