i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
