Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
