Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Randomize
