I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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