I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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