Can i not drive my cunt home
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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