wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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