That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
