new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
