I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
im holly from the hills drunk
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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