Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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