Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I believe in your delicious
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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