I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
