Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
