My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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