I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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