So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
