It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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