I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
