she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
