eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
