He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
