i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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