it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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