shes about as inviting as chlamydia
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
