he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
