i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
