Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
