The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
