she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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