She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
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Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
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The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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