I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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