shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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