u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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