I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
