Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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