i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
