is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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