with your own penis?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
