Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize