Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
