So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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