You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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