just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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