I wish you could order shots online.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Someone signed my nipple.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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