I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I want to walk on stilts...naked
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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