There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
