Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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