Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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