You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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