So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize