Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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