Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
They took my balls.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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