Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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