Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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