dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
