Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
