sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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