You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
